


140 Characters or Less

by hernameisgeorge



Series: The Avengers are a PR Nightmare [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:06:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernameisgeorge/pseuds/hernameisgeorge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers have Twitter accounts. Because somebody thought that was a good idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	140 Characters or Less

**Author's Note:**

> Though they're all pretty easy to guess, here is a list of everybody's handles:
> 
> Tony Stark @starkmantony  
> Steve Rogers @ConfusedCap  
> Bruce Banner @ScientistBruce  
> The Hulk @HULKYSMASHY  
> Thor Odinson @GodAwesomeHair  
> Clint Barton @BadassBirdMan  
> Natasha Romanoff @BlackWidowAveng  
> Phil Coulson @SHIELDnanny  
> Pepper Potts @SuperlativePA  
> Darcy Lewis @ipodsntasers  
> Nick Fury @nickmofofury
> 
> Also, fun fact, all of those are real. (They were at the time I wrote this anyway; not sure if they're still active) None of them are mine, but they are in fact real.

(ConfusedCap) In an effort to boost our public image, all of the Avengers have been given Twitter accounts. (395 retweets)

(BlackWidowAveng) @ConfusedCap This is going to be a disaster.

(BadassBirdMan) @BlackWidowAveng @ConfusedCap I'll get the popcorn. (824 retweets)

* * *

(starkmantony) Watching Say Yes to the Dress makes me want to try on wedding dresses. #ialwayscry (560 retweets)

(SuperlativePA) @starkmantony Did your account get hacked again?

(starkmantony) @SuperlativePA Yes, by women whose special days are going to be magnificent! (732 retweets)

* * *

(ScientistBruce) I hate #SHIELD @HULKYSMASHY (1,965 retweets)

* * *

(SHIELDnanny) @ipodsntasers is no longer allowed to visit @BadassBirdMan

(BadassBirdMan) @SHIELDnanny @ipodsntasers #CoulsonIsABuzzkill (1,472 retweets)

(SHIELDnanny) @BadassBirdMan @ipodsntasers RT @CNN: Hawkeye and accomplice trash NYC strip club. cnn.it/5dTgj3M

(ipodsntasers) @SHIELDnanny @BadassBirdMan oops?

(BadassBirdMan) @SHIELDnanny @ipodsntasers #CoulsonIsABuzzkill is trending! (185 retweets)

(SHIELDnanny) @BadassBirdMan @ipodsntasers #ClintIsSleepingOnTheCouch (2,538 retweets)

* * *

(GodAwesomeHair) The Man of Iron has arranged for me to go on a tour of the Pop Tart factory. (837 retweets)

(GodAwesomeHair) He is much nicer than a Frost Giant. (1,024 retweets)

* * *

(ConfusedCap) @starkmantony What's a #stony and why is it the second trending topic behind #ClintIsSleepingOnTheCouch? (624 retweets)

(starkmantony) @ConfusedCap My minions have failed! Guess whose followers arent getting StarkPhones. #youdisappointme

(ConfusedCap) @starkmantony Never mind, I'll ask Pepper.

* * *

(BadassBirdMan) Welcome aboard the S.S. No Friends, this is your captain speaking. (2,835 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) If I was married to myself I would buy myself flowers and cheetos and underwear and it would be romantic. (1,790 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) IDK man, I just like food. (1,916 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) Why are pants (2,051 retweets)

(BlackWidowAveng) @BadassBirdMan Are you okay?

(BadassBirdMan) @BlackWidowAveng *swan dives into pile of underwear* (439 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) Tony hacked my Twitter. Justice will be done. (1,962 retweets)

* * *

(starkmantony) I wanna be a bottle blonde. (692 retweets)

(starkmantony) I don't know why, but I feel conned. (315 retweets)

(starkmantony) I wanna be an idle teen. (835 retweets)

(starkmantony) I wish I hadn't been so clean. (649 retweets)

* * *

(SHIELDnanny) @BadassBirdMan is grounded from Twitter after hacking into Starks account and posting Marina and the Diamonds lyrics nonstop for three hours (835 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) @SHIELDnanny I regret nothing. (2,714 retweets)

* * *

(BlackWidowAveng) I've been instructed by Coulson to tell a lighthearted story.

(BlackWidowAveng) However, I don't know any lighthearted stories, so I'll make one up.

(BlackWidowAveng) Once upon a time, there was a spider who was friends with a hawk.

(BlackWidowAveng) The hawk was very annoying and the spider couldn't remember why she was friends with him in the first place.

(BlackWidowAveng) One day the hawk was bugging the spider while she was reading her favorite book and she killed him. This was based on a true story. (625 retweets)

(BadassBirdMan) @BlackWidowAveng Luckily the real story had a much happier ending!

* * *

(nickmofofury) Fuck this was a bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: All of the tweets from Tony hacking Clint's accounts were real things tweeted by Adam Young.
> 
> ETA 2 (12/31/17): Tony's and the hulk's accounts have now been changed to reflect their accounts as seen in the unbeatable squirrel girl comics.


End file.
